Evaluation

Final product

These are images of my final. A leather cased book with a translucent cover over the front and the back.

the top of the film strips its unfocused, It was not till the image was printed that I realised how bad the quality was. It there was enough time I would change it but as there is no longer time to address this I will have to leave it.

120 and 35mm film

The last of my film. I forgot to include these before I wrote about making the book. 

When I finally processed the 120mm black and white film I wished i had done more. The images are exactly what I was looking for, its a shame the colour didn't work. 

the third image along was taken by Josie Evans when we went out for a drive, I asked her to take the shot and composed myself. There are other images I took whilst out on the drive but they are scenery shots and had nothing to do with the project. That day I finally laughed, the first time in a long time, i had to include this image. 

If i was to continue this project I would strictly use medium format film.  

Final piece

After thinking about making a book, i thought about printing out 3 large images (digital) along side them but after thinking and getting my book printed I realised that it would be distracting. The images in the book are colour and black and white 35/120mm film and the images that would be printed would be digital. Although I am extremely pleased with these images having both film and digital shows two different versions of events as one load of images have been edited to fit in with the theme and the other are natural. 

I had my book made in Boots as I realised that they did their 1 hour service there, I was integrated with the idea of making the book myself making it more personal but i also wanted the book to look professional. The images are still in the same format of letter on the left and the images are on the right so the first thing they see is the journal entries. 

book making

Today I aim to start making my book, I still have to write the ending letter to myself but I can start laying out the pages to get an idea of how many pages I am going to need.

I am aiming to have this finished by Thursday but as I have never used InDesign before it is going to hard for me. I have the basics down and am starting to get the hang of it. I like the way it is shaping up but I want the book to be black or grey so I will have to learn how to do that tonight. I am still sticking to the images on the right hand side as they are the first thing that is to be seen and the writing on the left hand side.

2nd shoot

2nd Shoot

I knew I needed to do another shoot and unfortunately I had no film with me so I played around with the dslr again. Before the shoot I had a panic attack as I had just filmed a video diary, I do not like the sound of my voice or what my face looks like when I talk (or ever for that matter) it's been something that I have had to deal with for the last few years as I have always said yes to helping out with shoots. When I have a panic attack I start to shake and my vision becomes blurry, I also tend to bite my hand or arm (I also do this when I get really angry) to steady myself. It is almost the same feeling as fainting as I have a tendency to do that too, mainly around blood.
Recently when I get really stressed out I forget lumps of time, when we were all in our group tutorial and were talking about our projects I was really worried about how mine would sound and because I stressed when it came for me to talk the words came out and before I knew it my turn was over. I still cannot remember those 5 minutes. I asked the doctor what this meant and she said that it is common for people with depression to black out moments that are hard to deal with. With this all said this was why I had a panic attack. 

This was also the same day that I started my medication and I started to document that as well. This shoot was in my room so the light was minimal and decided it would be best if I explored using flash. I quite liked the outcome and after a few tried to capture different angles of my face. I started to feel a little anxious about it and started to grab my mouth trying to calm myself down and decided to shoot it and see what it looked like. Throughout this I wanted to see how my face looked when it was under pressure as I myself have never looked in great detail at it. 

When it came down to picking my finals I was drawn to the images of my hands as they had more expression in them than the rest did. These are my finals. 

  

I have edited them multiple times as I am not sure what I prefer. I was thinking about making a book and having black and white one side and colour on the opposite but I have not looked into the idea yet. As much as I wanted to solely use medium format (I have 3 rolls to process) I do like these images as they are striking and quite emotional.